Memories of evil

On 27 January 1945 the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp was liberated, and this day is now commemorated by the international Holocaust Memorial Day.

I visited Auschwitz some years ago: I had arranged a guided tour out of Kraków for a group of friends. Upon arrival an authorized guide, a kind of businesslike, middle-aged lady, joined our group and took us through the grounds and the museum.

The day was suitably overcast with rain just waiting to be released.

And this is what I remember most:

- That the famous gate with the "Arbeit macht frei"-sign is much smaller than you expect. It has become such an icon over the years that you think it must be much bigger. And I never understood the meaning of the sign. No-one was freed no matter how much they worked!

- From the museum, the saddest images I recall are the piles and piles of personal goods sorted - one pile for shoes, one for bags and suitcases, and one for eye-glasses and so on. What petty, sick minds will cause people to invent such a sick bureaucracy? It was also very moving to look at all the photographs of the former prisoners, and try to imagine their lives and feelings. I had to mentally pinch myself - this is for real! These people were real! I'm not watching a movie or a TV documentary!

- The crematorium was loaded with such a negative aura that it was almost tangible. I remember it as completely black in colour, but the photographs reminds me that that was just my mental concept of the place. It held such an amount of concentrated evil that I half expected some shadowy monster to materialize out of the walls and out of the ovens! (I have probably watched too many monster movies.) The small bouquet of fresh flowers on the slab in front of the oven openings looked so out of place. But maybe hopeful? That evil can be transformed?

- From Birkenau, the extension of Auschwitz, I remember best the "shelves" inside one of the barracks that actually served as beds... Unimaginable to "store" people in this way! And of course the iconic tower at the end of the rails. We went up in the tower and I could help wondering what the soldiers in the guard tower were thinking when a new train of prisoners arrived.

But the strongest memory of all was an incident right as we were about to leave - we were heading back to our bus when we met a small group of elderly people that just entered the gate. And just a few steps inside the gate the small group stopped and huddled together and cried and cried. And they wore the blue-and-white striped scarves that indicated that they were former camp prisoners...

The incredible sorrow that surrounded them like a thick cloud was overwhelming. It was compelling, and we got caught in a strange dilemma of not being able to stop staring and at the same time not wanting to intrude on their very personal sorrow. Oh the memories they must carry!

To deny the holocaust is both silly and pointless. And Auschiwtz is the logical end point of any racist argument. So why do the neo-nazis deny it?

There sure is a lot of things I don't understand.

/Kris C