Bubble sorting (Lessons learned from surprising places 1)

Sometimes we can apply lessons learned in one place in completely different circumstances - for me, "bubble sorting" is one example.

It was ages ago, when I was learning the programming language Turbo Pascal (which is no longer in use, that's how ancient I am!) "Bubble sorting" is a way to sort data in a certain order by comparing them in pairs until all data has been compared and arranged into a list. The method is very simple - only two items are compared at one time - but since computers are so fast, the program will repeat the algorithm and run through the data very quickly.

When I have several options to choose from and I can't make up my mind, I try this method! I pick two of the options - any two - and compare them: should I buy this or do that? One option will almost automatically "weigh" heavier than the other.

If I'm still not sure I pick up another "item" to compare the first "winner" with. I'm not as fast as a computer, but on the other hand, I usually don't have to compare very many options. So it speeds up my decisionmaking! I know it sounds silly, but try it - it can help in surprising circumstances!

/Kris C.

Nobody likes to be told what to do

Today I will enter someone elses writing: quotes from Gordon Livingston's book "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart" (now isn't that a great book title!)

Gordon Livingston is a psychiatrist who has counselled many over the years, and has lost two sons: one to suicide, one to leuchemia. In this book he sort of summarizes the life lessons he has learned through a long practice. The book contains 30 short chapters, each with a pithy title: the parts I will quote are at the very start and end of chapter 23, "Nobody likes to be told what to do":

"It seems too obvious to mention, and yet look how much that passes for intimate communication involves admonitions and instructions. I sometimes ask patients of balky children to keep track of the percentage of their interactions that consist of criticism and directions (the latter being a variation of the former). I'm used to hearing numbers like eighty to ninety percent. Sometimes, not surprisingly, communication between the parents themselves yield similar figures.
How are we inclined to react when told what to do? For most of us, resentment progressing to obstinacy is the most common response. Whether our refusal is overt ('Not going to do it') or passive-agressive ('I forgot'), the result is commonly frustration all around."
...

"Too often, in our efforts to be good teachers, all we transmit is our anxiety, uncertainty, and fear of failure.
The primary goal of parenting, beyond keeping our children safe and loved, is to convey to them a sense that it is possible to be happy in an uncertain world, to give them hope. We do this, of course, by example more than by anything we say to them. If we can demonstrate in our own lives qualities of commitment, determination, and optimism, then we have done our job and can use our books of child-rearing advice for doorstops or fireplace fuel. What we cannot do is expect that children who are constantly criticized, bullied, and lectured will think well of themselves and their future."

Straight to the heart!


Link to the book on Amazon UK:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Too-Soon-Old-Late-Smart/dp/1569243735/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231969630&sr=1-2

/Kris C